


Daydreams [Nightmares Book 2]

by ShuichiOuma010



Series: Nightmares {Saiouma/Oumasai} [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Co-workers, Couch Cuddles, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dancing and Singing, Dancing in the Rain, Daydreaming, Declarations Of Love, Detectives, Dorks in Love, Dreams, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, F/M, Fanfiction, Fanfiction of Fanfiction, First Love, Fluff and Angst, Forehead Kisses, Gay, Gay Character, Gay Male Character, Gay Rights, Gentle Kissing, Heavy Angst, Holding Hands, Kissing, Kissing in the Rain, Light Angst, Literal Sleeping Together, Love, Love Confessions, Loving Marriage, M/M, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Married Couple, Married Life, Morning Cuddles, Neck Kissing, New Dangan Ronpa V3 Spoilers, Nightmares, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, School, Sequel, Singing, Sleep, Sleep Deprivation, Sleepiness, Sleeping Together, Sleeptalking, Sleepy Cuddles, Slow Dancing, Surprise Kissing, Teacher-Student Relationship, True Love, Watching Someone Sleep, Work
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:35:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 22,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29678520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShuichiOuma010/pseuds/ShuichiOuma010
Summary: Even if they made it through the killing game with a few of their friends, that doesn't mean everything will be okay. But together it might be able to be.
Relationships: Chabashira Tenko/Yumeno Himiko, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Komaeda Nagito & Oma Kokichi, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Series: Nightmares {Saiouma/Oumasai} [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1980812
Kudos: 8





	1. -1-

Another therapy meeting...I hate going to these horrible meetings. High School was an experience that I will probably not remember after a while. Just kidding. Being able to be with Shuichi in a school where Maki, Tenko, and Himiko were like our own little group. We all understood the pain we had experienced from the game--as well as the nightmares and such that had been affecting all of us.

The walls in the therapy room were white, and it was a bright room...almost feels like I’m being interrogated by this asshole. I stared over at the man in front of me with a glare. I didn’t want to be here and I’m certain that he knew this fact, but regardless he makes me come back here every month.

"So, would you like to tell me more about your experience in the game?" The male asked me. He was supposedly my therapist, but honestly, Shuichi is the one who helps me the most, along with the others.

"It's still making my nightmares worse, just because of what they have put us all through. Tsumugi is the one who always is in my nightmares...taking Shuichi from my side and killing him..." I let the words drop from my lips like the heavy stones they felt like.

"I see..." He wrote more things in his notebook before his assistant opened the door and let me out of the room. God, I hate coming here. They have been making me come here for months now and it's making everything honestly worse in some ways...because they only want to bring up the past over and over again.

I walked out of the white building with all the white walls and let myself open the door as the cool air surrounded me. The air was a little colder making me wish I had brought a jacket with me...but this morning I remember Shuichi reminding me about it...but I just told him I would be fine without it. Why didn't I just take his advice...

I sighed and saw Shuichi's car waiting for me in front of the building. I smiled to myself and moved towards the car feeling a warm feeling radiate through my chest. I love him so much, he waited for me while they kept me for an hour...even though that felt like forever.

"Koki!" He exclaimed with a smile just as I opened the door. The warmth of the heater of the car enveloped me as I sat into the seat. Shuichi even wrapped his jacket around me with a small laugh.

"You cold, I told you to bring a jacket," He sighed, making me huff. I folded my arms over my chest and looked to the side.

"Yeah, laugh it up," I said with an annoyed tone. Shuichi laughed for a brief moment making my cheeks threaten to reveal my stupid smile and the blush I felt coming to my face. This was partially because of the heat of the car and because of his teasing, sometimes I resent how well he knows me.

"Are you mad?" He asked in a teasing tone, but his eyes were more serious. I shook my head feeling the anger leave my shoulders almost immediately.

"No~ I could never stay mad at you~" I teased leaning into his chair. I rested my head on his arm for a moment. I nuzzled the side of my face with a smile. He is so warm~

I let my eyes move up to his face and his cheeks were red as they usually are because of my teasing~ But honestly, I love him and all of his flaws and all of his hidden talents and hobbies~. After another moment passed I moved back into my seat allowing him to drive.

"T-Thank you," He whispered before he started driving the car back to our apartment. I smiled to myself and finally let myself relax for the first time since this morning when they called me to come into the office...I hate coming here so they can get information for their 'research' about the survivors of the game.

"So what have you been up to all day?" I asked, trying to get the conversation started. He smiled as his eyes studied the road.

"I was at work first thing in the morning, and I got let out early to pick you up--which reminds me, I got you something." I felt my eyebrows raise at this. He got me something~ but my birthday isn't coming up...so what would he want to get me?

"Oh~? My beloved shumai got me a gift~?" I said in a teasing tone. He blushed more before stuttering out an answer,

"Y-yeah...you're just going to have to wait until we get back though," I frowned and folded my arms across my chest.

"Fine~~," I said with a sigh before I was cut off by my phone buzzing. I pulled it out of my pocket and saw that Maki was calling me. I smiled and answered the phone.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked, putting the phone to my ear.

"I wanted to ask how the appointment went," She said, getting right to the point as usual.

"It was the same old stuff again and honestly it makes me feel so drained talking about it after all this time..." I sighed putting a hand to the bridge of my nose.

"I see...I hate that they keep calling us all back...it's better to be able to move on and not have to rehash what happened so often." She said with her normal monotone voice. I feel bad for her because-

"Anyway, I'll leave you to it, I'm sure you have some work to get to and I honestly got the information I needed," She said.

"Alright, have a good rest of your day sayonara~!" I said with a smile before hanging up the phone. Shuichi moved his hand to my thigh before he took my hand in his own.

"I'm glad you are still here, I love you," He said abruptly. I felt myself flinch at his words.

"That's a pretty random thing to say my beloved, why all of a sudden~?" I asked in a teasing tone. I felt his hand clench my own for a moment. I just gently rubbed the back of his hand.

"You feel it too, don't you..." I whispered looking up at the car ceiling. He gave me a small hum to indicate he was listening.

"It's like we're back there all over again..." My mind went back to the game for a moment before he kissed my hand bringing me back to the present moment.

"But we have each other and we aren't trapped there anymore." He said, pulling into the driveway. I didn't feel like talking at the moment so I just gave him a small smile and moved in to kiss him. We left the car after a small moment and walked into the house as the sky was getting darker.

"Welcome home," He said as chuoi came and circled around my legs. I picked Chuoi up and held him in my arms while petting him behind his ears.

"I'm glad to be home," I said with a genuine smile. This is where I am now and I need to enjoy this moment regardless of these meetings they are making the lot of us go to...

"So, what did they make you talk about this time?" Shuichi asked, patting the spot next to him on the couch. I could tell he was acting a little more serious than he usually would be...did something happen that I don't know about?

"They made me talk about the normal shit, making me bring up my nightmares again as well as the thought of losing you..." I whispered hating how much I wanted to cry. Shuichi slowly moved closer to me and moved his hand to grab my own. This cut all the tears that wanted to fall, because when I looked at him he was giving me a look that I haven't seen in a while. The look of pure love and devotion when he swore to love me forever all those years ago.

"I hate that they keep bringing that up..." He whispered gently, kissing the inside of my wrist. I blushed at the action because of how innocent it was, so pure.

"But we made it out of that game together, with the others as we promised." He said making me remember Kaito, Keebo, and Gonta's deaths...they shouldn't have had to die when we were getting out of the prison they put us into.

"You're right..." I whispered, still feeling guilty about it. Shuichi gently kissed my forehead before he slowly got up off the couch.

"I know you feel down after having to go to those meetings...so I wanted to watch a movie with you to lighten the mood." He said, reminding me that he promised a gift.

"Hey~ Shushu~ what gift did you get me~?" I asked in a teasing tone making him flinch as he wrapped a blanket around me before joining me on the couch again.

"Ah you remembered..." He whispered under his breath making me sarcastically gasp.

"You think I would forget?" I asked, offended. Shuichi laughed a bit under his breath before he got off of the couch. He moved to kneel in front of me before I could even react to the action.

"Shuichi-" I started to ask only to be cut off. He looked to the side seeming more nervous. What is going on- wait...the both of us are 20 years old now, and neither of us have asked the questions to one another. I was planning on asking him next month if he didn't beat me to it...but I think he yet again one-upped me by being the most vigilant.

"Well, I have been wanting to ask you for some time-" He said letting his voice trail off. I tilted my head playfully trying to tell him I already knew what he was going to ask.

"Ah, what I'm trying to say is-'' He said, pulling something out from behind his back. I watched curiously as he did this. "Will you marry me?" I felt some tears coming to my eyes. God, I thought I wouldn't cry! Stupid tears of happiness...

"Of course!" I exclaimed, pulling him into a kiss. I'm glad we both made it this far Shuichi. You make me happier than anything in the world...and knowing I'm going to be with you forever- it makes me the luckiest man in the world.

That kiss was what helped me feel real again. After the game, I have been having a hard time adapting to life again...just having to live on after that makes this all seem so trivial. Like the meaning of my life is slowly fading. Shuichi has been helping me feel more real in the moments when these feelings come to me.

After the game, well, in the present my mood swings have been getting worse. I go from hysterically crying, to staring blankly at the walls or ceiling, to angry. Shuichi has been very understanding of this, but it doesn’t make it any easier to not feel guilty when Shuichi has to deal with me in these moments...but it hasn’t been easy on him either.

He has been having nightmares almost every night. They gave him some pills to help ease this...and they helped a bit but it doesn’t mean that it isn’t killing him inside. He has panic attacks sometimes when he is at work and I get a phone call to come and get him. I have been able to find ways to calm him down...but this isn’t right. He shouldn’t have to suffer like this, none of us should.

“Baby?” Shuichi asked moving back from me to look me in the eyes. I could tell he wanted some explanation as to why my demeanor changed. “Sorry, I was just thinking about how lucky I am to have you,” I said with a smile coming to my cheeks. Shuichi’s eyes widened a bit.

“Are you sure? Well, I want you to know that I’m happy that you said yes because I want to be with you forever” He said, kissing my cheeks before moving his hands to my sides. “Oh, Shu~ How romantic~” I teased, poking his cheek.

“Well do you want to watch a movie?” He asked, making me chuckle a bit. “Of course I want to~ if it’s with you~” I teased, making him blush a bit. He didn’t say anything else as he moved to set up the movie. I watched him with an adoring glance. Is this even happening? This all seems too good to be true...right as I had this thought the room started to fade out of view.

“Shuichi?!”

**-Here is the first part of Daydreams! I finally got around to putting this together! I’m excited to see where this is going to go! I will be updating this over the weekends (meaning saturday and sunday) starting now! Thank you all so much for reading!-**

**_-SK-_ **


	2. -2-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> T/W: There are intense hallucinations and torture scenes so this is a warning.

**_T/W: There are intense hallucinations and torture scenes so this is a warning._ **

“Shuichi?! Shuichi! Shuichi!!”  _ No no no!  _ I screamed as the room became darker and I was right back where I was back then. The game...the killing game. Gonta was there waving at me before his body fell to the floor. 

“Oh my god! Gonta!” I screamed reaching out for him before my hand was grabbed and my glove was removed and the tattoo was there taunting me. The screams all came back to me as I closed my eyes. “Go away, go away!” I yelled as my body collapsed onto the floor. I felt so weak, like everything was gone all over again. 

“Kokichi, open your eyes” I heard a familiar voice call out. I looked up and saw Joelle standing there in front of me. “E-Elle?” I said not even trusting my voice. She looked at me with a smile before she wrapped her arms around me. I know this isn’t real...but it feels so nice to have her back, her here holding me like she used to, to tell me I’m going to be alright. 

“You should have died” I heard her whisper in my ear. “What?” I asked looking over at her. Her face was dark as I pulled away from her, but she held onto my back making my eyes go wide. She knows better than anyone how anxious I get when I feel like I’m trapped...it doesn’t matter who is holding me, if they make me feel unsafe and refuse to let me go...I’m trapped.

“You heard me…” She whispered looking up revealing her bloodied and bruised face from that day. “B-but, I know that I should have and I would do anything to go back and change it…” I whispered before I heard the sounds all come back to me. The sound of the horns, tires, and the lights. The blinking of the cars lights as it came towards the both of us.

I was in the middle of the road looking up at the car barreling towards the both of us. “J-joelle! Get out of the way!” I screamed trying to push her out of the way. “Nope~ We die together~” She said before I felt the impact throughout my whole body. I clenched my body as my eyes closed when the wave of pain came over me. Then it all went black…

“Kokichi!” I felt a hand touch my cheek before another w2as shaking my shoulder. “Wake up!” They called out again and I slowly opened my eyes feeling like my whole body was broken. 

It was Shuichi who was on top of me. He had worry and concern in his eyes before they turned dark like that one time in the mirror...oh god. I moved my hands to his shoulders to push him off of me but he only laughed and moved his hand to the back of my neck rubbing the skin making my body shudder as I was unable to move. S-shit. 

“Shuichi Stop!” I called out before his hand moved around my neck as I struggled against him. I knew this couldn’t be real...but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel real. I have been having these attacks on and off, Shuichi is able to help with them most of the time, but at times like these I can’t even tell if he is next to me or not.

“Nope! Didn’t you want this~ to die~” He cooed sounding a lot like someone I have heard before. “Get off of me! You aren’t Shuichi!” I said moving my arms trying to get them out of his grasp...but before I was able to do that a cloth came over my mouth. I heard my own muffled screams as the room changed again.

There was a bright light shining in my face as I opened my eyes again. “Hello~ I’m surprised actually” The voice said as I looked over and saw the ingame me on top of me. I tried to move and call out but my body was restricted by binds. Holding me against the bed as I looked up at him. I couldn’t say anything because there was a cloth still tight against my mouth. 

“I’m surprised you were able to figure that out so quickly~” He teased before he got off of me and stood beside the bed I was constrained against. I looked at him and noticed he had some blood stained on his shirt already. I looked down at my arms and there was a tube attached to my arm taking blood out of it, and he just stood there with a blush on his face as I felt mine pale. I felt so dizzy because of the blood loss as well as how my body was trying to get out of the restraints.

“You know how this floor works, sweets~ you can’t get out~ just give me what I need and then I’ll let you go~” He said again stroking my cheek. I shuddered at this but looked the other way and closed my eyes as he kept poking the blood bag as it was filling up.  _ Okay, I need to stay calm, just breathe. _

I let my body slump against the bed before I heard the restraints lossen. I opened my eyes and saw that he was gone, but there was a blood message on the  **Be careful~** was all it said. I didn’t know what it was talking about before I heard the buzzer.  _ Shit _

I looked over to the wall at the back. I looked up at the timer as the lights went off. A spotlight was set on a chair that was by the wall Shuichi was in. “Shuichi!” I yelled getting off the bed and looking around the room to see if I could find anything to get him out of the chair.  _ This is the chair trap...he has about 4 minutes to get out of the chair before it kills him...I need to get him out before then _ . I spotted a knife on the other side of the room before the timer started. 

Shuichi woke up as he cried out in pain. There was a small knife held by what looked like a mannequin. The mannequin moved the knife into his arm starting with his shoulder before moving down his arm. The pace was slowly getting faster as it moved down his arm. With each cut Shuichi’s cries increased in volume. I felt more panicked as it continued, I had to dig my nails into my wrist to calm myself down. 

I moved over and grabbed the knife and pulled it out of the wall...well what I thought was a wall before the dim flicker of a light revealed the body of Kaito. I moved away from it feeling my breath hitch.  _ Why is this happening?  _ I asked, feeling my whole body shiver.

The timer started counting down faster as I struggled to get over to him as I felt glass walls come up around me. Before another timer was revealed above me. It had the same amount of time as Shuichi’s did...wait doesn’t that mean-

Before I was able to finish my thought water started filling the cage I was in. It was thick glass and I was unable to break it no matter how hard I tried. I hit the knife against it but it barely scratched the surface. “K-Koki” Shuichi whimpered as the mannequin moved to his other arm. Starting again with the slow pace as the other arm before speeding up.    
  


“Shuichi!” I called out as the water made it up to my waist. I tried to keep my body mostly out of the water before I realized the ceiling was moving down as well. “N-no!” I screamed pounding on the glass harder before I remembered.

_ This is all a nightmare. _

**-Here is part 2! Part three will come out tomorrow! Thank you all so much for reading! Sorry for the hardcore angst…-**

**_-SK-_ **


	3. -3-

I calmed myself down and closed my eyes.  _ It’s okay, I know you feel alone right now.  _ I breathed in and out while I heard the water running and felt the top of the cage come down to my head. The water was up to my chest but I kept my breathing calm. I kept my eyes closed and let myself get submerged in the water as I let my feet fall. 

The water came around me making everything quiet, this was all I needed to focus. 

_ Okay, here,  _

_ wake up… _

_ wake up.  _

_ Wake up!  _

My whole body shook as I shot up from the couch. My breathing was ragged and there was sweat soaking my back and neck. I felt so cold and alone before I felt a blanket wrapped around me. I felt confused before I felt a head fall on my shoulder. 

“Kokichi,” Shuichi whispered as he clung to me. I wrapped my arms around him and moved my hand to rub his head. “It’s okay” I softly whispered to him before I moved my hands to rub his shoulder. 

“I’m right here baby, It’s okay now” I said again moving into his lap keeping the blanket around me. He cried for a moment more before he moved his head to face me. “I’m so glad you are okay,” He said kissing my face all over. His lips moved over my forehead before he moved them across my skin to my lips. 

“I was so scared you were too far in and I-” He mumbled against my lips before I pulled him closer to me closing the gap. He eventually closed his eyes and relaxed against me before he moved his hands to rub my shoulders. I smiled and leaned against him letting my hands move to his hair. I gently moved my hands against his hair grasping at the strands. 

It wasn’t the same way as it was at other times, but the desperation we both had was communicated by the way we held onto one another. He held me tightly, but not like a trapping hug, it was more of a calming blanket of comfort around me holding me close to it. My hands were clinging to him with the same vigor. I wanted to show him it was going to be okay, because it was just another episode...and the pills they have me on they are becoming less frequent.

My body becomes limp here but in my mind I am trapped in a nightmare. I have learned that to get out I have to acknowledge it and focus on something other than the fear it’s causing me...then I am able to get out.

“I’m right here, and it’s okay now,” I said, pulling away to put our foreheads together. “I’m here,” I said, again cupping his cheeks in my hands. His eyes were full of tears and his cheeks were slightly red because of his fear. I smiled a bit and kissed his cheek to get him to open his eyes again.

He slowly opened his eyes and I looked at him with a more endearing look in my eyes. He noticed this and blushed at how close we were. “There there my beloved” I whispered gently caressing his cheeks before he pulled back from me. 

He was smiling a bit as he sniffled again. “I’m okay now.” He said moving his hand down to my hips. “We should take a shower so you can wash all the sweat off of you--because there is no way that can be comfortable. Then after that we can come and watch that movie.” He said slowly moving the both of us so I could stand up. 

My legs were a little shaky, but he knew this so he moved his hand to the small of my back to help me stand. “Thanks,” I moved my hands to his shoulders before he picked me up and walked the both of us to the bathroom. I smiled a bit when I smelled the familiar scent of pine and vanilla that the bathroom was scented with. It was a calming scent that made me feel safe.

Shuichi put this in here so even when I was alone in the bathroom I still felt safe. Because most of the incidents I have had are from being alone, so he counteracted this with putting his scent in the bathroom. “Here, you can get undressed and then I will get the water ready okay?” He said blushing a bit. I knew he was still nervous about doing these things even though he felt comfortable with me, so I always keep the teasing to a minimum in these situations, well most of the time~

I took off my clothes shuddering a bit from all the sweat that was on me from my episode. After I was undressed I moved into the shower and Shuichi was already in there to rub my shoulders. I moved to the front of the shower to wash my hair as he did the same behind me. We both took turns cleaning ourselves before he helped me wash my back and he massaged the conditioner into my scalp. 

I leaned into his hand and sighed. Feeling content with feeling okay and safe after feeling intense fear for that time before. I hate when these episodes happen, but Shuichi is always here to tell me it’s going to be okay, and make me feel so safe after it happens. 

“Feeling better?” Shuichi asked gently as I leaned my head against his chest. “Yeah, thank you for this Shuichi,” I said moving back to the back of the shower before he finished washing his hair and body. I smiled as we finished.

He turned off the water and we stepped out of the shower. He wrapped me in a towel as I got out letting me dry myself off as he did the same. The towels were warm from the hot steam of the shower and it was calming to me. I got distracted for a moment because of how safe I felt and Shuichi’s arms around my waist pulled me back into reality. 

“Here I grabbed you some clothes,” He said, handing me a comfy shirt and pants as well as my boxers. The shirt was one of his own and then the pants were some of my pajama pants. I smiled and took them from him. “Thank you Shumai~” I teased, making him blush again. He moved to dry his hair with the blow dryer as I dry myself off and got my clothes changed. They were warm and felt so nice. My body felt so relaxed because of this. It was nice to have this change. To have Shuichi in my life. He makes everything better in his own way. Sure we aren’t together all the time anymore like we were in the game, but in these moments that we are it’s so nice and reminds me how much I love him.

“I’ll dry your hair okay?” He said motioning me to sit over on the toilet seat. I complied and moved over with the sleeves of his shirt over my hands. He slowly moved his fingers through my hair as the blow dryer dried my hair.

_ I’m so happy that he is in my life. I don’t know what I would do without him. I love him more than anything. _

_ Just stop your crying _

_ It's a sign of the times _

**-Here is today's update! I felt lonely today but this was able to help me forget about it for this small moment <3-**

**_-SK-_ **


	4. -4-

I rested my back against him as he finished up drying my hair. It was calming to me. Calming my nerves that have been screaming at me for the past hour or so. I don’t know how long that attack ended up lasting all I know is I don’t want to have another one anytime soon.

We just both sat in the silence as the calming feeling surrounded me. Making it feel like we were in our own little moment. Him and I alone to be here together. Being able to not have to worry about other things other than just being here with each other. Letting the noise of the blow dryer become our background music to our moment. 

_ Welcome to the final show _

_ Hope you're wearing your best clothes _

“Baby, it’s going to be okay, I love you” Shuichi breathed into my ear while he turned the dryer off. He moved his hands to rub my shoulders. Holding onto the stress that was plaguing my mind and replacing it with his calm touch. Like a small dip in a pool of water. One tiny drop may seem like it wouldn’t affect the whole pool of water, but the ripples it causes makes the whole water affected by the small touch.

His touch makes me feel this no matter how small or trivial the touch may seem. It always allows me to calm down. All of the hand holding, light taps with his fingers, or even him holding me in his arms; they are all able to make me feel so loved and cared for in the small moments.

“I adore you~” I said looking over my shoulder at him. He blushed a bit at this as his eyes widened at my words. I love how embarrassed he gets when I use different words than the ones he expects me to say. It always makes him blush regardless of where we may be. And I adore every moment of it~.

“L-lets just watch the movie” He said, covering his face with his hand. I sighed to myself and turned around to face him before getting up on my knees. “Shumai~ I love seeing your face you know~” I teased cupping his cheek with one hand while the other hand moved to pull his hand away from his face.

“H-Hey!” He gasped trying to move his hands away. I just smirked a bit and moved closer to kiss his lips. He moved a bit so I ended up kissing his cheek instead, making me sigh. “Shuichi~” I teased again, holding his face in place. He looked at me worried he made me angry with him.

I just smiled and brushed my finger over his cheek before I moved in closer again. Planting a kiss on his lips this time. He blushed at this, but let himself relax under my hold. Moving my hands to wrap around his neck made me feel more connected to him. He moved his hands to my hips before tilting his head a bit. This made me smirk more. Oh how bold~

“I love you~” I teased him, moving my lips away slightly to be able to get the words out. He blushed as his eyes shot open. “W-what-” I just planted another kiss on his lips silencing his words. His face heated up more at this, making me feel like I was back to the time when we were in the game, but this memory was one of me and him...not a nightmare, but more of a daydream.

Day·dream

/ˈdāˌdrēm/

noun

a series of pleasant thoughts that distract one's attention from the present.

Remembering the times we would be together in his dorm or mine. Slowly touching one another as we cuddled, kisses, or talked like this. With our bodies and mouths close to one another. Holding each other like we were the only people in the room to hold. Like I was the only one that mattered to him and he was the only one that mattered to me in that moment.

“We can watch that movie now~ We have both had a long day~” I moved my lips away from his and went to rest my head on his shoulder. Holding onto his shoulders as he laughed a bit. “You always tease me so much,” Shuichi chuckled before he moved his arms around me to hold me in his arms. I rested against him as we moved to the living room.

“Here,” He whispered, moving me down to the couch to sit in his lap. I smiled and moved around in his lap so I could face the TV. The movie was already all ready to play from earlier, but because of my episode we never got around to it. I moved my head to rest against his chest as he wrapped his arms around my chest and put his face into my hair.    
  


I felt my body shudder at his touch as the movie started. I will never forget the first time we went on that date in the library where he held me. I laid in his arms and he held me making me feel safe. Sure I ended up having a nightmare, but because he was there with me I felt safe and woke up feeling safe and loved. 

“I miss being able to do things like this, sorry work keeps getting so busy…” Shuichi whispered into my hair, making me laugh a bit. “It’s okay Shu~ I don’t mind.” I said keeping my tone more calm. Sure it bothered me when I had to sit home alone...but that’s why I got my own job and why I go out to help DICE sometimes with things...but Shuichi doesn’t know about that and it’s best to keep it that way.

“I know it bothers you...but I will make more time to do things like this, because I know you enjoy it as much as I do.” He is right about that, but I don’t want to make him more stressed because of how he is making more time for me. But the thought of him putting me first made me smile, I love how he is always able to make me feel this way.

_ You can't bribe the door on your way to the sky _

_ You look pretty good down here _

_ But you ain't really good _

I smiled to myself and let the movie play as I was in his arms. Life was going to start up again tomorrow and I didn’t want to have to think about it. Because now it’s me and Shuichi, us together against the world.

**-Here is part 4! I’m so excited to be writing this! I loved writing nightmares and I love this series!-**

**_-SK-_ **


	5. -5-

The movie ended and I could tell Shuichi was already super exhausted. He slumped against me as his arms fell down to my waist. His body was super warm because of how he was tired. It was nice to have him there next to me--even if he was already asleep…

I could try to move him to the bedroom...but he is heavier than me and I’m not that strong. So, it would almost be impossible to be able to get him all the way to the bedroom. Hmm...I hate to have to wake him up, but I know his back will hurt in the morning if I let him sleep on the couch. I need to get him to the room and waking him up seems to be the only option I’m left with.

I sighed and looked back at Shuichi who was sleeping soundly with me in his arms. I blushed at this and covered my eyes with my hands. Dammit I can’t wake him up he just looks so cute~ I can’t do this! But his back will be in pain again...and we can afford that...so I need to do this.

I turned around to face him and I felt my guilt come back over me. “Shu, baby?” I asked, moving my hand to poke his cheek. He didn’t move at this; he only softly opened his mouth. “Koki, baby.” Was all he said which just made me feel even more embarrassed because he isn’t even doing anything! And I still get super flustered! “Shuichi--I hate you sometimes.” I mumbled feeling irritated as I moved my hand to gently pat his cheek, but I was debating in my head whether or not to lightly smack him.

I moved my hand but his hand moved to grab my own. “Shuichi?” I called out looking him in the eyes but he moved his face closer to mine taking my lips in his. My eyes widened at the gesture before I remembered that Shuichi is super clingy when he is tired--but he can also be more confident oddly.

He moved his hand to the back of my head to hold me in place as he kissed me. I wanted to be angry with him and pull away from the kiss...but it was too nice to push him away. I let my body relax as he kissed me. I didn’t notice for a long moment that he moved us both to the bedroom until I felt him gently sit on the bed with me in his lap. I opened my eyes slightly before he looked into my eyes. When our eyes met I felt another wave of embarrassment come over me. 

“Hey, Ko, we should get some rest.” He said in his unfairly attractive voice that always made me feel tired. I slowly moved out of his embrace to get changed. “Okay~” I teased a bit moving over to my dresser as he did the same--except he changed quicker than me and was behind me while I was trying to put my shirt on.

He moved his arm around me to grab onto the shirt I was holding. I blushed at this a bit but calmed myself down enough so I wasn’t a blushing mess anymore. “Oh~ you like this don’t you my beloved~?” I teased turning to face him. He only groaned a bit and put my shirt on me before he pulled me into his arms. I sighed a bit. “Oh you are so clingy~!” I said in a teasing pouty tone. 

“But I’ll let it slide because you are adorable Shumai~,” I teased before he looked away with a blush. “N-no,” He whispered, hiding his face from me. I sighed and moved up in his lap and held his face in my hands. 

“Shuichi~” I cooed, making his cheeks go red. He didn’t turn to face me sadly...but his face turning red was all I needed to know. I kissed the cheek he had facing me and this made him flinch a bit. I smirked and took this distraction as the opportunity to kiss him on his lip. As I moved his face towards my own I felt him fall from under me.

This made us both fall onto the bed of Shuichi under me while I was on top of him. I smiled a bit and laughed under my breath. “You really hate me seeing your face that much?” I asked with a playful pout on my lips.

“I-it’s not that,” He stuttered looking to the side. I sighed and moved my hand to cup his cheek. “Then what is it, my beloved~” I teased, smirking a bit. He just slowly made eye contact with me for a small moment before he looked anywhere but my eyes.

“I don’t like feeling embarrassed...and you just seem to be the best at making me embarrassed.” He whispered, making me frown a bit. “Does that bother you?” I asked, feeling a little guilty about this...sure we have been together for years now...but if this has always been bothering him then why hasn’t he spoken up?

“N-no...I just have a fear of blushing in front of others...with you I’m getting more used to it...but I blushed at work today, so I already felt embarrassed because of that,” He smiled up at me before he cupped my cheeks with his hands.

“So it’s not your fault Ko...I just get flustered easily” He said again pulling me into his chest. I felt my body relax at this and moved so my back was towards him. He saw this and moved behind me and wrapped his arms around me. It was calming just as the times he held me before...but this time with the softness of the sheets, his scent surrounding me as our scents mixed together, and the feeling of him there beside me. Him breathing against me, holding his arms around me, him being alive, was all I needed.

_ If we never learn, we been here before _

_ Why are we always stuck and running from _

I let sleep consume me as the sweet words were said between us. Small I love you’s with the endearing words of a partner. Making sleep so much easier to achieve.

**-Another day wasted away, wondering if this is where I will stay. But hey, I guess it always comes to the last day-**

**_-SK-_ **


	6. -6-

I woke up and Shuichi wasn’t by my side. I sighed to myself knowing he had to go into work early again. I groggily looked over to the side table and saw a small note. The note had the ring Shuichi had given me a while ago. I must have taken it off in the shower and forgotten to put it back onto my finger. I smiled a bit as my body moved to sit upright in the bed. The covers were warm and it made me not want to ever get up...but I knew it was important to get out of bed. 

I let my legs drape over the edge of the bed as I let myself stand up. I stretched before moving over to the closet. In moments like these I wish it wasn’t so painfully lonely. I miss the mornings where Shuichi would hold me before and after we both got changed. His arms would slowly snake around me as he slowly woke up. It was calming and made me feel at peace. But now it was just my own hands, holding onto my sides as I slipped my shirt off before putting another one on.

I remember his touch and how different it is from my own. I also remember reading something about it a while back “Our brains seem to reduce sensory perception from an area of our skin when we touch it ourselves,” So it makes sense as to why nothing I could do to myself would be the same as if Shuichi was the one doing it. His touch is different from my own, he makes me feel safe, wanted, loved, cared for...while mine just makes me feel so alone, scared, and anxious. Sure it can be nice sometimes, but I just don’t feel as loved when it’s coming from me.

“God...I don’t even have work today. What the hell am I going to do all day?” I asked myself looking over to my phone. I found it odd how Shuichi hadn’t woken me up like he always does, but then I remembered that there would be no point to wake me up early if I didn’t have work. But I still wish he did so I could have given him a hug and a kiss before he left.

I put my shoes on before I looked back over to the note he left me with my ring. I laughed a bit to myself before walking over to the note. It was nice and written with care with his nice handwriting. It was special in it’s own way while my own handwriting has gotten smaller and more condensed over the years.

When I was younger I would always write taking up almost two lines on the paper...and now I barely take up a third of the space inbetween the lines. It’s honestly sad to me...Shuichi thinks it’s cute, but most people can’t even read my handwriting because of how small it can be. 

I opened the letter and read it to myself,

_ Koki, _

_ Sorry I had to leave early today--I know you didn’t have work so I decided to let you get some more sleep because of the events of the day prior. I gave you a hug and kiss before I left, sure you may not remember, but know I am there for you even if I am not present in the room with you. I love you more than anything and would want to stay with you all day my love. _

_ -Shuichi- _

I smiled to myself and placed my ring on my finger. It felt like he was there with me even though he was all the way at his work. It still felt nice knowing he was there for me. Knowing that he loved me and wanted to be with me forever.

_ The bullets? _

_ The bullets _

But that then made me remember how much I worried about the one question always coming back to haunt me. ‘How long is this going to last?’ I want it to be forever...but I still get so jealous when he goes out with some other colleagues for projects and such...I knew he only loved me. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t worry. Because many others--females and males have seen him--and even sometimes with me and have tried to hit on him--or me. I hate how others do this, no matter what me and Shuichi have each other's backs and we love each other.

But god that made me so jealous.

**Ring Ring**

I heard my phone ring from the bedside drawer where I kept it along with where Shuichi put his own phone. I walked over to pull the drawer open. It showed a call from Maki. I was a little confused before I remembered that Shuichi knows about my loneliness and Maki must have also had today off. I smiled and pressed the pick up button.

“Hey Maki what’s up?” I said before she spoke on the other line. “I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go to the library or something today?” She said sounding like she was in a better mood today which made me feel a little more comfortable about responding.

“Yes, that sounds fun! Where at?” I was asking more for clarity on what library we would be going to. There are two libraries that are close to us. One that was a couple miles closer but it was a bit smaller than the other one that was a little farther.

“We are going to go to the one south.” She said before I gave a quick yes before she hung up the phone. Best to get ready to hangout with Maki today. Sometimes Himiko, Tenko, and I hangout on my off work days because their jobs are more flexible. 

I looked over at the clock on the wall and noticed it was getting close to 09:00 which is the time the library would be open. Which is when I assume Maki wants to get there for the day. Shuichi is going to be at work for the majority of the day as he usually is on most weeks days because of how demanding his job can be. But he enjoys his work and that’s all that matters to me. Sure it can be lonely at times...but it’s nice to know that he enjoys his work. 

I grabbed my phone and put it into my back pocket before I grabbed my jacket that was hanging in the closet. I smiled and put my hand on the door. “Another day,” I whispered letting my hand rest on the doorknob. “Another good day,” I finished before opening the door and letting the sun hit my cheeks.

**-Here is part 6! Hope you are enjoying this!-**

**_-SK-_ **


	7. -7-

The sun was nice on my shoulders, face, and back. Calming like a summer's day from when I was younger. Sure it was mostly me alone in my room studying because I had no friends to go out with...but I would go on late night with Joelle sometimes. We would walk around town after our parents had gone to bed. Talking about random shit that would come to our minds at around 01:00-03:00. 

I wish more than anything to be able to do that with her again...but sadly she was claimed by that car. Taken from me when I needed her most because of my own foolish actions. I looked down at the glove on my hand before shaking my head. No, she is in a better place now. I still have the memories of when we could be together and that’s all I need.

_ We never learn, we been here before _

_ Why are we always stuck and running from _

_ The bullets _

_ The bullets _

Sure it hurts not having her by my side anymore...but I know that she wouldn’t want me to dwell on it. I need to move on for her and for me. I have Shuichi, Maki, Himiko, and Tenko who are here for me even if we don’t all get along sometimes. I want to live on for her and all of them. The people we lost in the game...I would never even think of forgetting what they went through in the game only to end up dying. 

Rantaro was a brother to me in the game, reminding me to eat on the days that I could barely even move to go to the dining hall. Kaede was there for Shuichi to give him the courage he now has and holds dear. Ryoma, sure we didn’t talk much but his story inspires me today. Kirumi was there for me to take care of me the days I got too sick and needed to be taken care of. She was there for all of us up until the end. Angie was a little odd at first but was an overall interesting person. Miu--although she was a filthy cum dumpster she was talented I will give her that. Korekiyo was very interesting in his own way, but more of an issue with the death of his sister which broke him in it’s own way…just as losing someone did to me. 

Gonta he was such a sweetheart and a gentleman to all of us--despite being a little more dense and kind of stupid, he had a kind heart. Keeboy was a nice person overall, he was trying hard to fit in with everyone and even though sometimes he seemed odd, he made his place as a person in my mind. Kaito was a SHSL dumbass, but I will give him credit for being strong willed and courageous when the time came. And how in his last moments he was still thinking of others as he tended to do for his friends--meaning Shuichi and Maki. In the end I saw him as a friend in my eyes, even though I still hated his guts, he was definitely not boring.

“Kokichi?” I heard Maki call out pulling me out of my trance. “Ah, sorry” I whispered a bit before laughing sheepishly. She just smiled a bit before walking back over to her car. I followed behind her and got in the passenger's seat as she started up the car. I felt relief come over my shoulders knowing that today instead of having to stay home alone while Shuichi had to be at work--that I could go out with Maki--as friends of course. I dislike how most of the people in this damn town who see two people together who are different genders, they always assume that they are together. It makes me sick--especially knowing Shuichi’s partner is a female detective...which reminds me.

“Hey Maki?” I looked over at her as she gave me a small nod. “Have you been thinking of helping at the orphanage?” She smiled a bit at this before she responded.

“I have a shift there later this week.” I looked back to the road and let my hand move to mess with the bracelet that was on my left wrist. “That’s amazing, I’m sure that will be fun,”

“Yeah, I’m looking forward to it,” She said before there was another pause between us. This was a normal occurrence with the two of us, because Maki still didn’t talk much unless she has a reason to talk. “Kokichi, you were looking into teaching right? Because your talent was the ultimate leader right?” I nodded at her before she continued.

“So you could work as the principal there if you wanted to, I’m sure they would accept you.” She said, making me smile a bit at her words. It reminded me of when Kaito said he believed in me when we were on our way to find Shuichi. When people believe in me it reminds me of all the things I am capable of.

“Yes, I have been looking into maybe going back to Hope's Peak and teaching there.” I wanted to go back into teaching, I was a sub a little while back when I had more free time because my current job was low on work. It was nice to be able to help the kids understand--but I think being a full time teacher would help me to help them better because of the connection I can have with them.

“That sounds great, I’m sure Shuichi would be happy for you,” She parked the car in the parking lot before turning off the car. I took the sign and removed my hand from my bracelet. I moved to get out of the car to meet Maki where she was standing on the sidewalk. 

“It’s nice to finally get out of the house and the work environment every once and awhile,” I commented before she gave me a nod. “I get what you mean. It can feel so trapping and consuming sometimes doing the same thing over and over again.” I sighed a bit before opening one of the front doors.

The library was a luxurious building that was tall as well as grand. It looked like one of the old fashioned chapels from an older time. It was nice because it made it feel like just for a moment we weren’t in the reality we are in on the outside. Oddly enough I found myself missing the times we had in the game, because we were all so close together and we were all the other company we had...and sometimes I just want to go back and see my other classmates again to relieve that feeling. The feeling of connection.

“Okay, we should go to the booth we usually go to,” She said pointing over in the direction of the table in one of the corners of the library. It was one of the better ones in my opinion because it was in the back and a lot of people didn’t come back here and they didn’t bother us. It was like we were in our own world being able to work in the back like this.

**-Here is another part! I wish I could go to the library with my friends--or even by myself as I would used to, but because of COVID and the lack of real friends--this is the best I got </3 Anyway, thank you all so much for reading!!-**

**_-SK-_ **


	8. -8-

Reading is something spectacular to me. Taking me to other worlds and past memories to help me experience more. I do enjoy reading like this--but when Shuichi isn’t here with me it doesn’t feel as nice. This is probably because of my horrible separation anxiety from my childhood, and the game. It is manageable now, but god when we first got out and Shuichi had different classes than me I remember panicking quite a bit. It was never a good feeling for me. I think it also made Shuichi feel guilty because of how he wasn’t and wouldn’t be able to be around me as much because of work and other tasks he needs to do.

I turned the page and focused my attention back on the book. It was a book about another world where people never had the ability to speak. It’s interesting to me because it makes me think about things. What would life be like if we couldn’t see, what would life be like if we couldn’t touch, what would it be like if we couldn’t feel, couldn’t taste? It’s enthralling to me. Fully immersing me in these questions and captivating my brain.

All the characters in the book communicate by music, tapping, and writing. All of their other senses were heightened because of how they were unable to speak. So they used their sight, touch, and even smell to be able to communicate what was going on. The most captivating part of all of this is how resilient the people are. Any problem that comes to their attention they take into account what the problem is and why it’s there to start. Then they analyse their own abilities to see how this problem can be solved and finally they work together to solve the problem.

This reminds me of the final moments when we were trapped in the killing game. Trying to get up to the top floor to find Shuichi and save him before Tsumugi poisoned him. So they all encouraged me after Kaito said he supported me and we were able to move on because of their faith in me. Believe me the situation was still terrifying, but with the teamwork, knowledge, and talent we all had got us out of there...sure everyone wasn’t able to make it, but we are living on in their memory.

There is a part of the cemetery where the students whose lives were taken lay to rest. Shuichi, Maki, and I visit there sometimes to put flowers on their graves. Tenko and Himiko come with us on the day we were all found. Because on that day we had officially beaten and escaped the killing game. Together as Nagito and Hajime found us that day with their little daughter Go-go.

Tenko, Himiko, and Maki as well as Me and Shuichi we have all been there for the big moments in Go-go’s life. She is all grown up now and she works as a graphic designer and a substitute teacher just like Nagito did all those years ago. But we have all been there for when she graduated primary school, when she went to high school, the prom, and her graduation from high school as well as college.

The moments we have been able to be with her and experience her life with her will always be such a sweet memory to me. She is such a sweet little girl always so confident in herself and a pleasure to talk to as well as even be around. She reminded me of Kaede when we first started talking...so I didn’t think I would like her as much as the others did...but then she was so polite and if someone was having a problem or something that was terribly hard to go through she would sit next to them, take their hand in her own, and say,

“It’s okay to feel defeated, and it’s okay to want to give up,” She would say with a smile. “But know no matter what you decide I’m here for you, and we can face it together or we can just be here in this moment together now” Those words always come to me when I feel defeated or even when Shuichi comes home and feels defeated.

_ Just stop your crying _

_ It's a sign of the times _

I never knew how much she would be able to teach me until now. She has shown me compassion even though she is almost 9 years younger than all of us. It was able to show me again how smart kids can be and regardless of how old they may be you can learn so much from them just as they can learn so much from you. So, this is why I want to become a teacher because I want to continue to learn about the world as well as the people of the world. I want to be able to teach the kids that will be in upcoming generations to be able to lead them on a good path so they can become outstanding citizens.

I closed my eyes before I closed the book for a moment. It felt calming to just be here in the moment with Maki. Sure we didn’t talk much at all, but I know that Maki doesn’t talk much anyway. She isn’t as much of a chatterbox as I can be. Shuichi has had to learn to live with me talking to myself when I am at home alone or even if he is there with me. Because I still have a fear of things being silent because it reminds me of how I’m always  **Alone** ...I shook my head.

_ We gotta get away from here _

_ We gotta get away from here _

I’m not alone. I have Maki here beside me and that’s why I feel comfortable with the quiet. Key word, quiet. Being quiet is different than being silent. Nothing and no one can change that fact. Being quiet would be like me and Maki in the library reading or me and Shuichi sitting on the couch with one another watching a quiet movie. Being silent is when I am alone in my room with no music or anything to block out the piercing silence that pounds in my ears. They are worlds apart...but so similar in their own way.

.

.

.

We read for another hour or so before Maki closed her book and placed it on one of the carts by the shelves. The carts were where you put a book if you didn’t want to check it out and take it out of the library. It was so the librarian could put the books back on the shelves for others to read them later. I stood up after her and did the same with the book I was reading. I still had another book at my house that me and Shuichi were reading together...so I don’t want to take another one back so we can both focus on that book.

We both walked out of the library giving the desk person a smile before we left. It was a little darker outside than when we first stepped into the library, but that was expected. It was probably around 16:00-17:00 hours at the moment. We usually stay at the library for most of the day and then get a meal after.

There was this nice little cafe that had amazing sandwiches and shakes. It was a nice place to go after reading for hours. So, that’s where I believe she was planning on driving me next. We both got back into the car and Maki smiled at me as she turned the car on.

“That was nice.” She stated, pulling out of the parking lot. “Yes, it really was. I needed that today.” I said with a small laugh. This made her laugh under her breath and somehow that made me feel accomplished. That I was able to make Maki laugh. She never really smiles much around people she isn’t friendly with so I always feel honored when I get to see the times she lets her emotions come out.

After the quiet car drive to the cafe we got out of the car again. It was darker outside, not dark enough where the street lights were the only source of light, but the sun was going down and the sky looked absolutely dazzling. The colors mixed together as the day was coming to a close. It was spectacular. 

**-Trying to do my writing in the morning so it’s more of a top priority because it helps me more than most other things. Sorry for the later update--but thank you all so much for reading!-**

**_-SK-_ **


	9. -9-

…

I looked around the office and felt my whole body feel nervous. Scarlette is looking at a case that was introduced to us last night...her eyes seemed more serious, which meant this case was going to be intense, it was going to be difficult, it was going to be scary. But this is a day in my life now. I want to help others, and being a detective this is how I can help.

“Scarlette, what is that case about?” I asked, seeing her flinch a bit at hearing my voice. “Well, remember when you got kidnapped back all those years ago?” She asked, making my shoulders flinch.

“Yes...I do remember but why are you bringing that up now?” I asked looking at her. She opened her mouth before she closed it again. Shit..this means this case probably has something to do with that doesn’t it? She sighed, pulling me out of my own thoughts.

“We think we have a lead on who was behind that kidnapping and the killings…” She said handing me the case file. I opened it and gasped a bit. There was the name of the mandatory therapy sessions we have had to attend. “But why would they-” I asked before she cut me off.

“No they aren’t the only players in this. We believe there is some other organization that is over them...that was the organization that caused this event all those years ago.” I felt my body slump. Kokichi and I aren’t safe anymore. The others aren’t safe either...I need to get to the bottom of this to help all of them.

“Okay...what is the first task?” I asked before she grabbed her jacket. “We are going to investigate that place today to see if we can find anything. The place giving you those mandatory sessions--also known as ‘Better Life’ seems to be more okay with helping us with this case...but this may be the same as that time where the leader thought it would help them more to be more compliant...so they didn’t have as bad of a charge.” She put her hand to her chin. I sighed to myself and grabbed my jacket as well. “Best to get moving then”

We both walked out of the place after getting some sad looks from the other workers in the police station today...this is going to be interesting. But at least I will be able to find out who really kidnapped us and caused all that pain from the killings all those years ago.

The car that we were going to drive was already in front of the station. It wasn’t a fairly large car, but it’s better to be discrete in these situations. “Grab the keys.” Scarlette said as we passed the door of the agency where there were some keys in a locked cupboard. I pulled out my key to unlock the cupboard before Scarlette wrote some numbers and letters on a paper before passing it to me.    
  


“Okay...F47D.” I whispered to myself before grabbing the key. I closed the cupboard making sure to close it before walking outside with Scarlette. “Okay, you are driving,” She said getting into the passenger's seat. I nodded and got into the driver's seat. I sighed to myself feeling my whole body clench at the thought of Kokichi getting hurt...but that’s why I need to work harder today to get as much information as I can.

“Are you feeling okay?” She asked gently, putting her arm on my shoulder. I blushed out of embarrassment. Scarlette and Kokichi have met a few times and Scarlette seems to want to be on good terms with him...but because Kokichi gets fairly jealous in these situations it’s probably a while before that ends up happening. 

Scarlette is the only one at my work who knows about me and Kokichi being together. This being because sadly most of the people here seemed to be more uptight about homosexual relationships...that’s why Kyoko had to retire early because her and Celeste had gotten together and the agency was going to fire her, but she retired before they could. I started the car and started driving to the location. I wanted to be able to get this under tabs and get more information. Because this case has to do with Kokichi...and Maki, Himiko, and Tenko. So best to give it my all.

“I heard you were able to propose to Kokichi, Maki messaged me about it earlier today. Congratulations Shuichi.” She said lightening my mood a bit. “Yeah, I’m glad I was able to do that for him...but I am worried about the wedding and all those things...what am I going to tell the boss?” I asked, feeling my shoulders slump a bit. 

“Remember I am the chief's daughter, so I can find a way around it.” She said with a smile. I smiled back. “I forget about that sometimes.” I sheepishly laughed at this before she just nudged my elbow. 

“You always have been more forgetful about these things,” She said, teasing me a bit. I just laughed a bit more before we were able to get to the location. The station was a little closer to the place than my house was, so this made for a quicker trip. “Yeah you are right about that.” I said before parking the car and taking the key out. 

The place called ‘Better Life’ loomed over the both of us. Because I know they have a lot of information about all of the 5 people who survived the killing game...and knowing that your therapist could be part of what caused you all the trauma that made you go to them in the first place...is so unnerving.

“Okay, the person who will be touring us around said to meet them by the back door.” I gave her a nod as we both got out of the car. I felt the slightly chilly air around us make me shiver a bit. Jeez, I forget how these situations make me feel. I feel worried and scared...but motivated to get to the bottom of these things. 

We both walked back to the back door and I saw one of the workers standing there. As we got closer I noticed the name tag said intern Stephany. I smiled a bit at her before she waved over to us. “Here you are! Let’s get you both inside so I can start the tour for you.” She smiled a bit and her cheery tone made me think that she wasn’t entirely sure of what this company could be a part of.

We walked down some white hallways with white walls. It made me feel a little uneasy because of how much while was used in the hallways. There was some windows in the offices that were on the sides of the hallways that made me remember room number 04 was the one I had to always go into when I had to come to the sessions.

“Okay so here is the front desk where patients can come in for therapy sessions.” She said opening two big white doors. Gesturing with her hands to the large desk in the front room. I smiled at her and nodded. Scarlette was already taking some notes. Not sure what they could be on, but I need to focus on the situation.

“Here is where the head offices are and where all the information the therapists collect. It’s very private information seeing as every therapist had their own metal lockable filer. This helps to be able to organize the information.” She said pointing to the room called files. Then we walked down a while longer before reaching the end office. 

“This is the lead head of Better Life. He knew you were coming and wanted to speak to you!” She said, leading us to the white door. I felt my anxiety come back before I calmed down a bit. Scarlette put her hand on the door and pushed it open.

“Nice to see you both,” The boss man said before I realized something. He looked familiar, just not sure where I have seen him before.

**-Here is the next part! Looking forward to updating this again tomorrow! Thank you all so much for reading!-**

**_-SK-_ **


	10. -10-

...

“So, I was thinking of talking to Shuichi about me applying for the position at Hope’s Peak.” I said looking over at Maki who was sipping her tea on the other side of the cafe table. Her eyebrows raised slightly as I said this before she went back to her neutral face. “I think that would be good. I’m sure he would just tell you to go for it.” She said making me feel my heartbeat quicken.

Shuichi and I are going to get married soon--we haven’t really talked details about it...but maybe bringing that up with the school will be good. Because I’m certain they might not hire me if they know me and Shuichi are together. I still have to give it my all regardless of this. Because I know that Shuichi is going to be happy to see me get into a career I enjoy instead of just sitting at home or going to my dumb job...that is exhausting as well as not with great pay. So best to find something I enjoy and then dive right into it.

“I’m sure he would.” I smiled before moving my hand to play with the ring on my left ring finger. “I wanted to ask you--” She started before one of the waiters walked up to us. I looked up at them because for one, they weren’t the waiter that was here for us before, and two, they seemed to be here for another reason than just getting us more food or giving us the check.

“Hey, your Kokichi right?” They asked. I didn’t want to assume things...so I won’t, but this is already making me uncomfortable. “Yes, who is asking?” I asked in return as Maki was looking up at them with a small glare. This made them get a little nervous. I could see it in their eyes...the worry that this wouldn’t end well.

“Well, I know that you are together with Shuichi--so I wanted to ask you something.” They said before they moved closer to whisper in my ear. “Why don’t you ditch him and be with me instead?” He whispered, making me sigh. 

“Christ...you really think for one moment I would ditch my fiance for some person I have never met?” I asked, pushing them away a bit. Maki seemed to be alerted by this and started moving to stand. I looked over to her and shook my head telling her I could handle this. “This isn’t our first meeting, you remember the name Komara right?” I felt my face pale. This is Komara after all these years...and she came back to come ask me to be with her What the fuck is going on...with people today I’m honestly disgusted by this.

“Here let me talk to you outside. Maki, please excuse me.” I said before I walked out of the cafe fairly quickly. “You wanted to talk alone~ aww how sweet Koki Koki~” She said with a blush coming to her cheeks. I flinched before I looked into her eyes with a glare.

“I see you remember--but you never let me get that far with you. So sad.” I felt my hands clenched into fists. “I never did that with you because A, I am gay, and B, you are just a stupid bitch asking for someone to do things to you.” I sighed making her gasp a bit.

“I’m not the needy bitch! You are! Cause god knows that you and Shuichi probably have sex everynight and all day when you are both together! Who is the needy bitch now~? Because with a body like that there is no way he hasn’t used you that way yet.” Her tone was bitchy and it just made me groan. 

“Jesus fucking Christ. For starters, even if Shuichi wanted to do things like that with me he would ask and be totally okay doing it or not doing it depending on how I feel on the matter.” I blushed a bit at saying this...he really does care for me and loves me more than anything...I feel like getting married to him is going to just make everything so much better. Because I love him and care for him more than anything..and nothing and no one can change that.

“Oh you really think it’s going to stay that way?” She asked, putting her arms on my shoulders making me realize I was still shorter than her. I sighed and moved my hand to the side of her neck by one of her pressure points. She flinched at this and I smirked a bit. 

“Yes it will because some people don’t treat others as poorly as you do and then expect them to be head over heels for you. So let me ask you, why do you think I would ever want to be something like that with someone like you?” I asked, pressing my fingers against her skin. If I put enough pressure on it she would pass out...and I don’t want to cause a scene because I know Maki would get on my ass about it later--as well as Shuichi.

Because she and Shuichi talk about these things whenever they happen...so Shuichi knows about these things even if I don’t end up telling him about them. Kind of irritating sometimes, but Shuichi understands that there are some things I don’t want to talk about and he is okay with that. 

“W-well I-I…” She stuttered out before I moved away from her and walked back into the cafe. “My work here is done.” I said before walking in the door and going back to the table to sit with Maki. She looked up at me and smiled a bit.

“That was one of the girls who bullied you in grade school yes?” He asked before I nodded. “I almost forgot about all of that...but then she decides to show up.” I groaned before taking a bite of my cake and sipping more of my Panta. I forget how nice Panta tastes sometimes because Shuichi doesn’t want me to drink it as much as I used to because of how sick it makes me feel. Well when I have too much that is...it’s like the wine that I look forward to getting on special occasions. I have had wine with Shuichi before--but Panta is so much better.

“What a bitch.” Maki stated before she finished her tea. I finished my cake and Panta soon after her and our actual waiter came to give us the check. His name was Brad. And god I was glad that Brad was our waiter instead of Komara...because that would be awkward. “Sorry about the issue with one of the other waiters...she has been working here for a week and-” I put my hand up to interrupt his apology.

“It’s quite alright, I’m glad you are so considerate to apologize, but it’s not your fault.” I said, making him blush a bit. “Sorry, I just apologize out of habit.” He said with a small laugh. I laughed a bit as well because Shuichi is the same way--I am the same way.

“Not to worry, my beloved is the same way,” I said with a smile before he handed us the bill. “Thank you for coming today have a nice night and please come again.” He said politely with a bow. “You can count on that.” I said after him before he waved back at me with a smile.

“Brad is nice.” I said looking over at Maki who laughed a bit at me. “You are so odd sometimes you know that right?” She asked getting up from the table after putting the money in the bill before Brad came back to take it and get our receipt. Maki is paying this time because I paid last time and we just switched off so it’s fair.

“I know that better than anyone else--well maybe not Shuichi,” I said with my signature laugh. She sighed before we both walked out to her car. She started the car as I got in on the other side. “Thank you for today.” I said, making her smile a bit.

“Yes, of course Kokichi.” She started driving me home and all I could do was smile. I’m so glad that even after that whole game I have such amazing friendships with the others from the game. Even if we don’t get along sometimes we are like a family. ‘Together till the end even if sometimes we don’t act as friends.’ I smiled a bit at that thought. It was nice to finally have people who care about me...even if they aren’t my blood relatives. 

**-Here is another part! Hope you enjoyed it! Also--on my channel I sang the cover of the song in the 私の愛 oneshot in my Saiouma/Oumasai oneshots! So if you want to check that out go to my channel! The link should be in the bottom of my description! Thank you all so much for reading!-**

**_-SK-_ **


	11. -11-

**_T/W past trauma, hallucinations, and referenced self harm. This is a warning._ **

After I got home I was excited for my beloved to return. It was nice to know that he would be back and I could tell him about the job I wanted to get--even if he already knew about it...but I know regardless I am going to have fun with this job. I have heard I am actually really good with kids so I think this will be great.

“Hmm?” I asked, feeling my body shake a bit. What the hell is happening? I asked myself before the room warped again...I hated when this happened. Why the fuck is this happening now? The room layout changed completely. I was back in my old house. I was confused why I would be back in my parents house...before I looked down at my arms. I was wearing a short sleeve shirt under my jacket because it made Shuichi feel safer knowing that I wasn’t cutting my wrists and that I felt comfortable showing him my scars.

They were covered in cuts and I looked down and noticed I was wearing shorts. I was wearing the same outfit I wore that day I was going to take my life in the tub. I felt panic seeping into my head...why is this happening? Oh my god...oh my god. Okay calm down. You need to focus. 

Shit...I need to get my phone to call Shuichi!

I moved around the house and tried my best to find the coat hanger where I put my phone on the side table. My hands are always more honest than my eyes, If I can feel it and see it it’s real...most of the time anyway. I felt my way around the wall as I kept my eyes closed. It doesn’t matter if I can see or not because what is happening now...isn’t real.

I heard the cries and whimpers from what happened that day...that cursed day…

…

_ "Hey, mom I need to tell you something!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. He was standing behind me with the same smile he always wears taunting me. He won't leave me alone. I felt a shiver go up to my spine as I tried to suppress the feeling of fear I felt growing in my chest. He started to walk towards me, making my heart stop. I looked at my mom silently pleading that she could make this stop. _

_ "Sorry, I'm busy maybe some other time." She said as she continued to scroll through her phone. I can't believe that I thought she would help me. I'm so useless that I had to ask someone who doesn't give a shit about me for help… _

_ "Ok," I said before I walked out of the room and went to my room slowly closing the door. I slid down the door and let the tears begin to fall down my cheeks.  _

_ Hello Kokichi~ _

_ He's already here... he leaned over my shoulder and whispered into my ear, placing his hands on my sides.  _

_ You know you look beautiful Kokichi~ _

_ I would love to see your beautiful self get all cut up~ _

_. _

.

.

_ I was shaking all I could do was cry. I had to keep myself quiet to not bother others with my worthless problems I couldn't deal with on my own... I silently sobbed into my arms shaking in the corner of my room slumped against the wall. I was so exhausted. I was so done.  _

_ I'm done with doing the same shit every day. _

_ This is where it ends. _

_ I walked into the bathroom and started the bath. The water started to fill the tub. I just stared at it with a blank expression. This is it. This is where my pitiful existence ends. I hope this makes you happy.  _

_ I pulled out my razor out of my pocket and did a number on my arm and grabbed my notebook off my desk and walked back over to the tub.  _

_ -???- _

_ He touched me again. The hallucinations are getting worse. Why is this happening? _

_ Didn't get much sleep last night. I cried and shook all night too scared to close my eyes because of nightmares. _

_ 59 cuts on both arms. _

_ 27 cuts on both thighs. _

_ They are deep. _

_ I'm doing this to make others happy because they won't have to deal with me anymore. _

_ It stung as I got in the water in my tank top and shorts. It burned as my body slipped into the hot water. I closed my eyes and let my breathing slow as the water around me turned blood red.  _

_ This is it. I always hoped it wouldn't come to this but I just can't do this anymore. This whole thing is breaking me... I'm so done with all his torment. All the pain. All the loneliness. I guess I never found the person I was looking for. Maybe it's better that way. I would only be a burden on them… _

_ I felt my body slump. I felt so weak as the water was around me making my body feel so light. The pain from my open wounds faded away as it all stopped.  _

_ Is this what it's like to die? _

_ "Kokichi! Get the hell down here you need to do the damn dishes." I opened my eyes feeling dead. Why now? Can they just let me die? _

_ "Alright!" I yelled the best I could voice sounding broken and hoarse. I groaned slowly sitting up the pain of being alive making all my nerves scream from the pain from my open wounds. I got out of the tub and bandaged my wounds before changing into a baggy sweatshirt and skinny jeans.  _

_ I walked downstairs trying to mute my screams of pain as I walked. It hurt so bad to move but I wouldn't want her to think that she has to care about any of this...  _

_ "Why did you take a shower now?! Have you gotten your homework done?" She said looking at me annoyed. I should have never bothered to try and ask for help. Cause all I get is the same... disappointment from me being a screw up… _

_ I washed the dishes before and after dinner. I barely ate that night or any night for that matter. I felt so dizzy from blood loss and malnutrition... I felt like dying. Why can't I just die? I can't even do that right... _

_ … _

No you have to think of something else! Jesus Christ...Put something else in your mind…

“Hello Kokichi~” I felt shocked but kept my eyes closed. I need to get out of this...but don’t you dare open your eyes. If you see his stupid face...then you won’t be able to get over to the damn table. I moved my hands and eventually felt the cloth of a jacket in my hand. Wait...is this where my phone is?

Before I could move to reach for my phone I opened my eyes and looked at my phone. But my eyes didn’t meet my phone on the table it met his eyes...the other fucking me. “Get away from me!” I yelled before he pushed me down onto the ground holding my hands by the sides of my head while his legs pinned mine down...well so much for getting my phone. 

“Hello~ eyes on me~” He said in that stupid teasing tone...full of lust and adoration...like someone would look at a good meal or how someone would lust after another person...disgusting.

“You still look so pretty~ But your arms are so painfully bare~ we need to change that sweets” He said with a glare at my arms before he moved his hand to pull a boxcutter out of his back pocket. Great. Just fucking great. Shuichi won’t be home for a few hours so I need to calm myself down before this gets worse.

“Here now you can look pretty again~ But you have to do it this time or it won’t stay~” I sighed and looked up at him. “I can’t and you know that...no matter what you make me do I haven’t done that in a couple years now. I don’t need it. I need Shuichi and other people to help me through these things--not you asshole!” I yelled before I took the blade from him and moved so our positions were switched. He blushed and looked up at me before he moved his hands to rub my hips and my sides.

“So pretty~” He cooed before I got angry and moved the knife to his neck. “Why can’t you die?” I asked in a cold tone before He just laughed a bit at me. 

“Why don’t you do it then? Why don’t you kill me~?” He asked, trying to get me to do something I would regret. “Because I don’t stoop to that level...like you!” I said moving it to my pocket before I kicked him in the face to be able to get him off of me for a few moments so I could grab my phone. 

I rushed over to the table and grabbed my phone like it was a lifeline before moving over to call and pressing Shuichi’s contact. It started ringing as he got up off the floor. I felt panicked as it rang even though it was only moments before Shuichi picked up.

“Kokichi are you okay?” He asked into the phone I couldn’t get any words out without my voice breaking. He seemed to figure it out quite quickly when he responded. “You need to breathe with me okay. Remember your breathing trick that helps with this. Say it with me” He said before I remembered. Right, I totally forgot about that.

_ Okay okay. Calm down. _

_ Breathe in _

_ Breathe out _

_ Goodbye _

_ Breathe in _

_ Breathe out _

_ Your lie _

I felt my eyes close as my breathing slowed. I was scared to open them before I heard the door open. “Kokichi!” Shuichi called out before he looked over to me and rushed over to pull me into his arms. “I got out of work early and I’m glad I did...here I’m going to take you upstairs so we can wrap you in a blanket to calm you down.” He said picking me up in his arms. I rested my head against his chest feeling safe for the first time since that happened.

“T..thank you.” I whispered before Shuichi sat down on the bed holding me close to him. “Shh shh, it’s okay now...I’m here now baby.” He said before gently rocking me in his arms after wrapping a blanket around my shoulders. I smiled to myself and let my eyes open before I moved to kiss his cheek.

“I love you...Shuichi.” I whispered before he moved to place small kisses all over my face making me giggle a bit. He is always able to make me feel better no matter what happens.   
  
_ I love him so much. _

**-Sorry for the later update--yesterday I felt so brain dead...and my family didn’t make it any easier. But here we are with another part! Thank you all so much for reading!-**

**_-SK-_ **


	12. -12-

He slowly whispered to me as his lips moved across my skin. Tracing them from my forehead to my cheek. I felt the small vibrations from his hushed voice as his breath came against my skin. 

“I adore you.” His tone wasn’t demanding or even a tone I heard very often. It was the same tone he used when he first told me he loved me. The day when my notebook was exposed to all our classmates. All my secrets were out on display...but he still decided to stay by my side. He held me in his arms and kissed me for the first time after saying those words. It was magical in its own way...but it reminded me of how much I love him.

He is what makes this all worth it. He is what makes this all seem more real, more genuine, and just filled with love. Love I never knew I could have. Love I never knew I would be able to experience with another. But now that we are here it makes me feel so safe.

“Shumai~” I cooed letting my hands move to his shoulders to rub them up and down. I let my fingers caress his skins as they collided against one another. Like the sunrise in the summer as the sun light kisses the grass as it rises to take its place in the sky. The colors in the sky collide and mix together as our bodies and loving touches are in this moment. Letting my hands connect to his shoulders and back as his lips came into contact with my face again and again.

Moments like these are what I live for. The small moments we have with each other reminding us of how we are human. The stormy ocean of my mind is always turned into calm waters whenever my sun is near. Well, I wouldn’t call him my sun, he is my moon. Beautiful in the night when his eyes shine in the pale moonlight. Making me fall for him all over again, just as I have done before, and just as I do again and again.

“Kiss,” he mumbled as he kissed my lips. I leaned against him and pulled his body closer to my own. Feeling him against my lips made my mind malfunction in a way. It was an odd feeling but miraculous to me. Like the way the stars are so far away but we are still able to see their light. 

He is my lighthouse in the sea of the darkness of my thoughts. A friend of mine that is always there for me, but he is able to pull me away from the friend who would hold me in the dark. The darkness pulling me away from others...the darkness that wants to take me away from this world. But Shuichi is always here for me regardless of anything. 

If he is far away he is only a phone call away. Only a few moments from me on the other side of the screen. Even when he is unable to come to the phone is with me in spirit. The warmth that comes around my shoulders and holds me as I cry...as my world warps away. He is always there after when he is unable to reach me in these moments. He is always home in the later hours of the day to hold me and care for me. 

So I want to be able to do the same for him...no matter what. At any moment I want to be there for Shuichi. To be able to hold him when he panics and when he feels alone. I want to be his crying shoulder and the hand he is always able to hold in the colder hours of the night. 

“Baby...I’m tired,” he whispered, falling against me a bit. I smiled and felt a small laugh leave my lips. “You need the rest my beloved.” I whispered, moving to kiss his cheek before laying him down next to me.

“Are you sure you don’t need me to stay awake?” I smiled at him and moved my hand to pet his hair. “I’m feeling a lot better now Shu, so let’s get some rest okay?” I said before he nodded. He slowly got out of bed and I had forgotten that he was still in his day clothes which can not be comfortable for him. 

I moved over with him and changed into my pajamas as well. I put on my shorts and my sweater. He was wearing a short sleeved shirt with some sweats. I blushed a bit before I moved over to him to wrap my arms around his waist.

“Shuichi let’s get some rest,” I whispered as he moved his arms around me holding me close to him. I blushed at this but let him do so. It was nice to just lean against him and be there with him...but I needed to move him over to the bed before he passed out.

I slowly guided him over to the bed as his eyes were slowly sliding closed. I smiled softly before letting him climb into the bed before I went to join him. His arms were open to me and it was so welcoming. I moved over to him and rested my head against his chest before planting a gentle kiss on his chest.

“I love you Shuichi, have a good rest” I whispered letting my body slump against his own. He mumbled something before he fell asleep. I love him, but I do hope he is able to get some sleep.

**-Loving another can mean many things. So just remember these words-**

**_-SK-_ **


	13. -13-

The morning came as soon as the night faded. This came to my attention when Shuichi was still sleeping and I was awake. This isn’t something that happens very often so it took me by surprise. But it was a nice occurrence to happen on a morning like this. 

I looked over at him and let my hands move to cup his cheeks to look at him. He still looked as breathtaking as he did when I first met him. His eyes were relaxed and closed while his whole body seemed so relaxed. His chest rose and fell slowly as his arms moved around a bit. His face contorted in confusion when he didn’t feel my arms around him anymore. So as I searched with my hands in the dark, he patted his arms around as if he was looking for me without actually waking up and opening his eyes. I laughed a bit at this and moved my hand to hold his own. 

I let my fingers trail up to intertwine with his fingers before I let our hands rest between our chests. I smiled before moving my other hand to gently caress the base of his hair. I know he loves when I touch him there because anytime I do so he smiles. Even if he tries to hide it his body reacts without him knowing to the joy he feels around me.

I never really put much thought into this fact before I realized that Shuichi seems so tense around the others all the time. I know he has a stressful job that causes him to be more tense, but I also know that when he is around me his whole body calms down. Starting with his face with the small smile he will give me, then moving to his shoulders that end up relaxing, and ending with the way his arms move around me as though they were meant to be there. Together, holding one another like lovers in the moments we are together.

He used to be so awkward about showing affection to me around others, but over time he has become more confident in himself and even has kissed me in front of his family members. Sure it wasn’t like he was like ‘oh my family members are here I need to kiss you’ it was more of an intimate moment because I was feeling jealous of the way some of his family members were acting around him...so he held me by holding onto my shoulders making my eyes go to his own. I was a little surprised by this because I didn’t even know my demeanor changed because of the way I felt about being here with him and his family. Regardless of this he moved in closer and whispered an ‘I love you’ before kissing me.

I will always cherish this moment in my memory because it was the first time he was able to show his parents that he was with me and that wasn’t going to change. His parents are fairly homophobic people so we never go to visit them, but Sam will always be such a special father figure to both of us. He was there as we both finished high school together and at all the important moments in our life. So it makes sense that he was the first person we talked to when we got engaged.

My parents have wanted to call and meet up with me after they knew that I was dating a Saihara...but I never let them because they only wanted to contact me because of how much income we had together. So I cut off all communication with them and didn’t even want them to come to my wedding. Because for one, they are homophobic and had to let the money he was making change their mind about be dating him, and two, they wouldn’t even come for me, their son, they would just come for their tecnical step son who has famous rich parents and is well known for his job and talent.

Shuichi started slowly moving and wrapped his arms around me pulling me close to him. My face was buried in his chest while my hands were on his shoulders. I smiled and planted a small kiss on his collarbone after moving his shirt down a bit. He slowly opened his eyes and cooed at bit before nuzzling his head into my hair. “Good morning Koki.” He whispered before kissing my head.

“Good morning love,” I said back before frowning a bit. “Shu~ I want to see your face~” I complained before he held me tighter. 

“No...you have probably been looking at my face for hours haven’t you?” He asked before I remembered I was the one who woke up first today. “Yup~ And you are adorable~ So please Shumai?” I asked again before he went silent. I groaned playfully and started moving my hands to his sides gently caressing them with my fingers. He yelped a bit at this and knew he better do what I asked or I was going to tickle him.

He hates when I do this because he is very ticklish and it’s adorable. His face gets all red when he laughs and his laugh is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. It can be so soft and light or very cut off because of how out of breath he gets. I love this about him and hate that in these moments he still hides his face from me...because when he gets flustered he is so cute that I want to see as much of it as I can, but I do know this isn’t something I can do in public all the time.

“Okay, okay...fine” He said pausing before he moved back so I could see his flushed face. “Happy?” He asked looking into my eyes as his cheeks were burning.

“Very~” I cooed before moving my hands to cup his cheeks and bring his face closer to mine. He smiled softly at this and moved closer to kiss me--except he didn’t and he ended up saying the word “Kiss” before moving away from me.

I felt a little irritated about this and wanted to give him hell for it, but I already felt my face getting hot because of the simple teasing. “Kiss~” He whispered before ghost kissing my cheek, my ear, and my neck, making me soon feel enraged.

“Shuichi-” I groaned, shuffling around a bit. “Stop~” I said again before making grabby hands at him. 

“I want kisses~” I said, feeling my cheeks become a little hot. He smiled softly and kissed my nose. “Only because you asked so nicely.” He said before kissing my cheeks, my forehead, my eyebrows, my ear, my jaw, before his lips slowly trailed to kiss each side of my mouth before moving to fully kiss my lips. I blushed at how lovey dovey he was this early in the morning...it was probably around 3 to 4 in the morning. So, my beloved wants to be so lovey to me this early in the day~ How romantic~.

“I love you~” I cooed before I slowly kissed his cheek. I would have kept kissing him--but his alarm went off. I groaned before he slowly moved to hit the stop button. “Kichi, I love you” He said before slowly getting out of bed to change. I followed him feeling annoyed I didn’t get morning cuddles, but this was a daily because we can’t just stay here all day.

“Oh Kokichi, Maki told me you wanted to become a teacher at Hope’s Peak.” He said, turning my attention from my anger. “Yeah, I was going to ask you what you thought about that today.” I said before he changed into his day clothes. I slowly changed before he came over to kiss my forehead.

“I think that would be great for you love.” He said with a smile. I felt my whole body feel a sense of euphoria from this. This is the life I want to live for the rest of my life. Being here with Shuichi and being able to get the job I wanted, while he was able to have the one he wanted. It was like a dream come true.

  
  


w̸͙̬̖͉̳̥̥̦͔̆̋͌̀̌̿͌ȧ̴̭̫̣̎͋̈́͆̉̽͝k̵̬̒̾̊̃̈̍̒́͝ȩ̸̳̞̣̂ ̴̭̖̹̜̼̖̋̎̈́̕͠ų̸̛͔͕̮̠͊̿̒͌̂̆̎̋͝ͅp̵̡̛͍̩̼͓̼̫̬̝̈́͐̆̉̊͘

  
  


I felt a shudder go throughout my body. What was that? “Kokichi…?” Shuichi asked when he saw me zone out. I shook my head a few times. “Sorry my beloved~ Just had a little chill.” He looked at me with a similar look of knowing. I knew that he felt it as well...but what did it mean?

“Well, I think you should go for it, get the job you want love.” He said with a smile. I smiled back and moved my hand to hold his own. “I will! I already gave my week's notice to my job so I can go apply now!” I said feeling him move to pick me up. 

“I’m so happy for you baby!” He said with a dumb smile on his face. I’m sure I had the same one on my own, but that didn’t matter what mattered was being in this moment with Shuichi.

Nothing else even mattered in my mind.

**-Here is the next part! Thank you all so much for reading!-**

**_-SK-_ **


	14. -14-

Shuichi moved to kiss me one more time on the lips before holding me close to him. “Sorry, I have to go to work now love...I will see you when I get home okay? Then we can talk about how your day went.” He moved his hand to brush my hair out of my face making me smirk a bit at this.

“But Shuichi~” I whined before he gave me one more sad glance. “I love you baby.” He said one more time before he let his arms leave from around me. He walked over to the door and left the room. I waved bye to him before I started getting ready to go to work. I smiled to myself as I went downstairs to make some breakfast.

“Shuichi,” I sighed looking at the counter seeing he left me some food ready to be heated up to eat. I blushed a bit and moved over to the table to see what he had left for me. It was two bagels with a package of strawberry cream cheese. I loved it when he did things like this, it just reminds me of all the times he does nice and cute things like this for me. It always makes me so happy remembering this is my life now.

He doesn’t even have to tell me he loves me anymore. He already shows it so well with all the little things he does for me, but I can’t say it doesn’t make me worry that he is giving me more than I will ever be able to give to him in a lifetime...wait a minute. We are going to be getting married soon and we haven’t even talked about when, where, or how...maybe Maki and the others could help a bit.

I looked away from the table for a moment to go and grab my phone from where it was upstairs. I was feeling nervous and excited about how me and Shuichi were going to get married, but I wanted to be the one to plan our perfect wedding to make up for a little bit of all the times he is doing things for me. Even when he is busy and stressed he still thinks of me and I love him so much for that...but having such a romantic fiance can be a problem because they are always giving you everything while you just feel like you aren’t giving enough.

I shook my head a few times. I need to talk to the others to make sure that they are in on this plan. I need all the help I can get and Shuichi can not find out about this...because I want to make this special for him. 

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. “How do you plan the wedding for a perfect man that you want to marry?” I asked myself before opening the text conversation with Maki, Tenko, Himiko, and I. “You don’t because it’s impossible to satisfy something too perfect for this world.” My shoulders slumped a bit and the more self deprecating thoughts soon came into my head.

_ How am I supposed to plan the perfect wedding? _

_ Shuichi deserves so much...so will I ever be able to give that to him? _

_ I’m not good enough _

_ Yet he still chooses me over the others. _

_ And by others I mean anyone else in his life that would be better for him _

_ He might even be happier with Scarlette… _

_ She seems like a good person...but I don’t know _

_ I love him more than anything… _

_ So I worry he will be disappointed by anything I put together for him… _

I felt my eyes get all watery so I snapped myself out of it and sent a message in the chat.

**Kokichi: Hey guys**

**Maki: Kokichi? What do you need?**

**Himiko: Why this early in the morning?**

**Tenko: ...What?**

**Kokichi: Me and Shuichi are going to be getting married. And I need help planning the perfect wedding for us.**

**Tenko: Shuichi and you are getting married?!**

**HImiko: Tenko! Calm down okay? Deep breaths.**

**Tenko: Thank you, sorry, I was just--panicking**

**Maki: Okay, so is there a certain theme you want or…?**

**Kokichi: We both really like flowers and the colors purple and blue. So maybe a garden wedding that is outside?**

**Himiko: That sounds super cute**

**Tenko: I guess that wouldn’t be too bad to deal with.**

**Maki: I understand, I will work with the others to see what we can find.**

**Kokichi: Thank you guys so much for this**

**Himiko: Yeah! It will be great**

**Kokichi: Thank you again!**

**Tenko: Yup**

**Himiko: Best of luck to you today!**

I closed my phone and looked back at the table. A garden wedding. I like the sound of that! And I’m sure Shuichi will love it as well! One of our first dates when we got out of here was to a local garden that was full of pretty flowers. That was also the date I looked at him and knew that this would be the rest of my life. Living with this man who makes me happier than anything...I just hope he feels the same.

Sure he asked me to marry him, and knows basically everything about me...but I worry that maybe after we get married all of this will go away...and it will be as though it never existed in the first place. I just find myself wondering why he decided to be with me out of all the people we have come across. After all this time we are still together...and I just worry that he is giving up another life he could have been happier in.

Now that I think about it. He does seem happier with me around him. Sam has told me so many times that this is true. Anytime I had to stay after for school work or something that I had to go and work while Shuichi was at home with Sam he would always be in his room with his blue blanket wrapped around his shoulders writing poetry about how he was feeling. They were all poems about me, well the ones he allowed me to see anyway.

He keeps his notebooks of poems on a shelf in our room. He keeps them organized and has a different poetry book for the ways he feels. One for the ones about his parents, one for how the friendships we have make him feel, one about Go-go, Hajime, and Nagito because they are still the best friends we could ever ask for and Go-go is the reason why I have been thinking about adopting a daughter with Shuichi...but I will ask him about that after the wedding. He then has one for the love poems he writes for me, the lonely poems he writes when he is alone, and one of the more personal ones where he feels as though he isn’t good enough. 

I have noticed that he hasn’t touched that one in a long while...but I still wonder what makes him feel not good enough. Because I know what makes me feel that way, but why would Shuichi someone who gives me everything feel as though he isn’t good enough…? But I do understand the way his horrible parents treated him so he had to move in with Sam...and how that can affect these things.

I started munching on my bagel after it came out of the toaster and was all ready to eat with the cream cheese on it. I remembered how Shuichi told me how much writing his feelings helps him, so he got me a notebook one year for my birthday. He did get me other things like stuffed animals and a new coloring book, but I found this odd until a couple weeks later I was having the more darker thoughts of my mind and Shuichi was unable to be home.

I opened the notebook and wrote in it as if Shuichi could hear me. It made me feel safe knowing that maybe somewhere he was here with me, even while he was away.

I finished eating and got my things ready for the work day. Okay, here is to the last week of work!

**-We be vibing with planning the wedding! I have so many odd ideas for it, but I’m sure it will be great! Thank you all so much for reading!-**

**_-SK-_ **


	15. -15-

The next week flew by like a short movie that you enjoy. You can watch it over and over again and then come back to it in later years. When doing so it always seems like it doesn’t take as long to watch as it did the first couple of times. This feeling was a good one because having a week full of boring work that filled my mind the whole time was definitely going to be tormenting. I mean god damn...it would have been terrible to say the least. In moments like these it reminded me of how I am unable to stress out over work or even get bored by things like this when Shuichi is on my mind.

Shuichi~ he is always able to make my day no matter what is going on in my mind, reality, or even in my life overall. It’s just the nice calming feeling his name and touch brings to my heart. Calming my mind, body, and soul. I don’t know how he is able to always do this without fail. Maybe it’s because of the idea of him and I getting married. Oh, getting married to Shuichi, god that makes me feel so happy.

Like my heart is beating out of my chest making me able to run as fast as I can as wind is rushing past me. Sure my legs would feel like dying--but because of the feeling in my mind and heart I would be able to endure. This is exactly how Shuichi is able to make me feel. Even if life is beating me down he is still able to help me stand back up again and face it with my head held high. Because Shuichi is my strength, I have my own strength believe me...he is able to show me that and has taught me that many times...but he is able to give me more strength I never thought I would be able to have.

As if he is my own secret super power. Super power, that actually sounds pretty cool! Shuichi and I are the strengths of one another, powerful apart, but invincible together! Maybe that’s just the kid in me making this all seem like a really cool thing...when it is just another idea I had to show my admiration for Shuichi.

We--meaning Maki, Tenko, Himiko, DICE, and I have decided to make the wedding at the end of the month, but Shuichi won’t find out until the week before so he doesn’t stress about having to plan for the wedding. I talked to Scarlette about this already so she knows what to do to give him that day as well as the next week off. She was really nice about it when I called her so I saw it fair to invite her to the wedding because of how she has been so accepting as well as helpful about this.

I have all the invitations ready...and I looked back at my contact list again and saw my sisters contact there. Sure all of my siblings didn’t like me much...but my youngest sister in my family was very accepting of me when I told her I was gay, so maybe I should call her up and invite her to the wedding...but make sure to tell her to not mention this to any of the others...because I am sure they would become very angry with me and hate me for this.

I shook my head. Best not to remember the others now...I need to plan for two weeks from now. The girls already have most of the preparations ready. Himiko was able to find a place for the wedding while Maki has been working on getting the decorations and Tenko has been in charge of the food. I do hope this ends up being okay...I just worry that this all may make him hate me and then he will leave me because of this...even though I know this isn’t true. 

He is my everything and he makes me know that he loves me all the time...I do hope that I am able to do the same for him, but regardless I know that he loves me and I know that I love him more than anything. And this fact alone helps me to feel safe. It reminded me of all the times he has been here for me, in the game, after the game, and even now in the life we lead together in this moment. It’s all beautiful to me.

“Right,” I said remembering that Hope’s Peak was going to send me an email over the next couple of days if they wanted to accept my application so I can go in for an interview...I just hope they aren’t homophobic...because I know how much it hurts Shuichi to know he has to hide our relationship from others at work because of this...but I know this is going to be good for the both of us. 

I felt another wave of panic come over me. Shit...okay remember what Shuichi tells you to do...remember what he would do if he was here with you…

I took in a few breaths before getting some headphones and connecting them to my phone. Take in some breaths...listen to the song he would sing you when you wake up from a nightmare...it always makes you feel better.

I moved to play the song and let the words fill my ears as I calmed down.

_ Sleep on me, feel the rhythm in my chest, just breathe _

_ I will stay so the lantern in your heart won't fade _

_ The secrets you tell me I'll take to my grave _

_ There's bones in my closet but you hang stuff anyway _

_ And if you have nightmares, we'll dance on the bed _

_ I know that you love me, love me _

_ Even when I lose my head _

_ Guillotine, guillotine _

_ Even when I lose my head _

_ Guillotine, guillotine _

_ Even when I lose my head _

_ Kiss my lips, feel the rhythm of your heart and hips _

_ I will pray so the castle that we've built won't cave _

_ The secrets you tell me I'll take to my grave _

_ There's bones in my closet but you hang stuff anyway _

_ And if you have nightmares, we'll dance on the bed _

_ I know that you love me, love me _

_ Even when I lose my head _

_ Guillotine, guillotine _

_ Even when I lose my head _

_ Guillotine, guillotine _

_ Even when I lose my head _

_ You fill me up, you fill me up _

_ You set my soul ablaze _

_ You fill me up, you fill me up _

_ Your love is so amazing _

_ You fill me up, you fill me up _

_ You set my soul ablaze _

_ You fill me up even when I lose my head _

_ Guillotine, guillotine _

_ Even when I lose my head _

_ Guillotine, guillotine _

_ Even when I lose my head _

_ Guillotine _

_ Even when I lose my head _

_ Guillotine, guillotine _

_ Even when I lose my head _

_ You fill me up, you fill me up _

_ You set my soul ablaze _

_ You fill me up, you fill me up _

_ Your love is so amazing _

_ You fill me up, you fill me up _

_ You set my soul ablaze _

_ You fill me up even when I lose my head _

I felt myself calm down as I let it play another time. Remembering the time he danced with me after he found out about my mismatching eyes and still told me he found me beautiful.

**-I love you more than anything my darling. All the stars could never amount to thee, because you, my love, will always be my Earth, land, and sea-**

**_-SK-_ **


	16. -16-

I smiled a bit knowing that today we were going to talk about getting ready for the wedding--which I am still feeling way nervous about...but that doesn’t matter because it will be with Shuichi and that’s all that matters in the end.

I slowly opened my phone again after I ate my food and saw I had gotten an email. I was a bit confused before I got excited. “Holy shit! What if it’s from-” I got cut off when I saw in fact it was an acceptance email from Hope’s Peak! I need to tell Shuichi and the others that I have gotten in!

I opened the text conversation I have with Shuichi and messaged him about the news.

**Shumai: Hello and good morning, sorry I had to leave again before you woke up...but remember that I would never leave without giving you and hug and kiss before I leave.**

**Koki: Hello! Thank you! But I wanted to tell you that I got an email from Hope’s Peak and they accepted my application!**

**Shumai: That’s great! I will definitely bring you something back for the occasion! Just let me know if they want you to come in soon for the interview**

**Koki: Will do! And a present~**

**Shumai: Yes of course this is a big moment for you! And thank you for that, I want to be able to be here for you anytime I can.**

**Koki: Yuppers! I will see you when you get back Shu~!**

**Shumai: Thank you Koki, I will see you when I get back**

I closed my phone feeling my heart melt a bit. How is he able to make me feel this way? I don’t even know or even comprehend what this man is able to make me feel on a daily basis. It’s almost unnerving knowing how easily he does it...but I trust him more than anyone. So, I know deep down he would never have any ill intent.

I looked over at the clock above the couch before I went over to go and sit down on the couch as I opened the email from Hope’s Peak. It was definitely an acceptance email and it made me happy that they accepted me for the position of a teacher.

_ Kokichi Ouma, _

_ You have been accepted to take the role as a teacher here at Hope’s Peak, we see that you have the experience to take this role as you have graduated from Hope's Peak years prior to this as well as the educational schooling you accomplished when graduating. We would ask for you to come in this next week sometime to get an interview and a briefing on how this school works as well as learning your role as an educator.  _

_ Our hours are Monday-Friday from 06:00-19:00 as well as some staff hours on Saturday from 09:00-17:00. Make sure your scheduled interview is in a reasonable time within these hours. _

_ We will be waiting for you to become one of the staff here at Hope’s Peak, we welcome you with open arms. _

_ -M. K. _

I smiled more at this. Okay but first off, who is M. K.? I assume the principal...but you never know it could be some head teacher welcoming me to the staff...well some questions will have to be answered later. And second, when should I schedule the meeting? I have all of the rest of this week and next week to come in for the interview. I guess going in sooner is better than later.

Okay well today is Friday, and it’s only 10:00 in the morning so far. I want to talk to Shuichi about it, but maybe I can surprise him later tonight when he gets home if I go in as soon as possible. 

In the letter it said that they were open on week days from 06:00-19:00 so from 6am to 7pm to put it in different terms. So I have 9 hours from now until the school closes at 19:00. Maybe I can go in a little past noon...yeah! I will email them!

I was about to start typing out my email before my phone started ringing. I flinched a bit at the sudden call, but soon realized that it was Maki calling me. I’m sure it was because she wanted to ask how discussing this with Shuichi went--as well as if I got accepted or not.

“Hey Maki,” I said into the phone before she replied. “Hey Kokichi, I wanted to ask how it went with Shuichi?” She asked, sounding a little monotone as she was sometimes, but I could tell under that she was genuinely curious about this.

“It went well! He was super cute about it as per usual~ and I even got my acceptance email today~ I’m planning on going into the interview in about three hours from now” I said feeling a little more excited that this was actually happening. 

“That’s great, I’m glad that Shuichi was kind about this. And congratulations, Shuichi actually told me he was going to celebrate with you later today,” She said, making me blush a bit remembering our conversation earlier. “Yeah! He is going to bring me a present! Well that’s what he told me anyway~”

“I’m glad. Well, I am going to volunteer at the orphanage today so I will leave you to it, you got this.” I gasped playfully at this. “Maki~ You ended up volunteering!” I smiled before she sighed a bit. 

“Of course I did, I said I was going to.” She said, I could tell she was a little bit embarrassed over the phone. “Well, I leave you to it as well! You got this!” She muttered a thank you before hanging up the phone. I laughed to myself at Maki being embarrassed about something she wanted to do.

“Well best to send this email and then get ready!” I said getting up from the couch before opening my phone to respond to the email.

_ -M. K., _

_ Thank you for your response, I will be coming in today at 13:00 if that works for you. I am looking forward to talking to you as well as being a teacher at Hope’s Peak. _

_ -Kokichi Ouma _

“Okay, that is sent, so now it’s time to get ready!” I walked upstairs and looked over in the mirror to start getting my suit and tie on. This is going to be the next step in my life! So I know it will end up being a new experience for me as well as my beloved Shuichi!

**-Love these moments we have together, just remember even if it ends the memories we have will always be here-**

**_-SK-_ **


End file.
